Dog Days
by Vethrfolnir
Summary: The lies numbered higher and higher each time he asked, and the truths began to struggle behind, until I had a thousand and one lies to tell and two hundred half-truths I was too scared to say. Cheren/N, one-sided Cheren/Black.


A/N: My first attempt to write N and Cheren, another woefully neglected pairing, and my first first-person fic in a very long time, so forgive me if this comes off as OOC. Japanese names were used for Hilbert/Hilda because… I felt weird typing Hilbert/Hilda or Black/White. Ahah. It's based off of the following prompts: lying runs in the family, the dishwasher in the kitchen, and lemon sherbet.

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><p>My grandfather lied to my grandmother for years before they got married. "We're best friends. That's all I want." He would say, touching a hand to her arm. He told her everyday, along with promises that he would protect her, that they would always be friends, and he really was happy she had found such a wonderful man - a thousand little lies mixed in with hundreds of half-hidden truths. They had been friends for thirteen years before he finally told her the most important one: he loved her. It was another ten years before they finally married.<p>

My father went through a similar ordeal with my mother. Eight years of longing, three years of chasing, two years of marriage before they had me. They would tell me to be honest with myself and my feelings. Don't be like dad and grandpa; take risks, don't be afraid to tell a girl how you feel because you're terrified of losing her. For a long time, I thought it was dreadfully sappy advice. I wanted to be a Trainer with Pokemon by my side, not a lover, and yes, I'd take measured risks, but I couldn't see how romance would ever factor into that. The only girls I'd be traveling with were Bianca and Touko, and I certainly didn't want to marry either of them.

But it wasn't a girl I lied to. There was another person who came along with us: Touko's brother, Touya. He was a year younger than her, the only boy I'd felt comfortable with growing up, and when he decided last minute that he wanted to be a Pokemon Trainer too, I never thought about why I felt so relieved. I watched him grow stronger than me, evolving from an indecisive little boy to a capable, determined Trainer, and I knew I had to get stronger, too; I wouldn't let him leave me behind.

Touya would ask me why I wanted power so badly. I think my ambition scared him. But I wouldn't lose him - I knew he had the skill and talent to be a Champion, so much that I burned with frustration and pride for him, but I couldn't let him reach such a lofty pedestal where I could no longer touch him.

I never told him. I always said I didn't know why, exactly, but his skills really were impressive, and next time, I'd be sure to beat him in a battle. He would smile at that and let the matter drop, until the next time he asked again, but my answer refused to change.

Sometimes, when he slipped from his rising pedestal into the mind of the little boy I once knew, he would ask if we were still friends when I stormed off after a battle. Sometimes, I did it on purpose, just to see that sign that he was afraid of losing me, too. Always, I would tell him, "Of course we are. I wouldn't want anything less." The lies numbered higher and higher each time he asked, and the truths began to struggle behind, until I had a thousand and one lies to tell and two hundred half-truths I was too scared to say.

I guess it runs in the family.

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><p>I met N after about a year of longing for Touya, which is another lie in and of itself. I'd met him much earlier than that, when we had first begun our journey: I spoke to him once, decided he blathered on too long and too fast, and thought nothing else of him. Then, he became a nuisance much too interested in Touya, and after that he turned into a threat we had to stop. Another lie: he was a threat <em>Touya<em> had to stop. I'm not sure if Touko has yet to forgive him for being chosen as a hero over her.

I'm not sure _I_ forgive him. Touya's pedestal became a mountain. I thought I needed to become even stronger... even if I couldn't touch him, at least I could be helpful to him. The idea had made sense when we were still chasing N, but now that Team Plasma had disbanded and Touya was the Champion, it just sounded silly. But I digress; for awhile, N was a threat who provoked questions about Pokemon, but I never stopped to think much of the boy himself until we met again.

It was sunny that day, and with Iccirus City's weather, it felt humid enough for the sunbeams to stick to skin. N was standing just outside of Dragonspiral Tower. I recognized his long green hair immediately (he must be boiling) and froze, unsure if I was supposed to greet him or reach for a Poke Ball - just to be safe. My hand was halfway through exercising the latter when N settled the issue for me.

"Hello." He said as he turned to face me. He smiled, slow and easy; then, abruptly, his lips were anything but. "I probably shouldn't be here right now. They might be looking for me. But I'm waiting for Reshiram to come back. She wanted to see the tower again. I can't imagine why, since she was trapped there for so long, but who am I to judge? You're Cheren, aren't you?"

I blinked. His smile widened. He still spoke too quickly. "... Um."

"Cheren. Your name is Cheren. I remember." He said, drawing out the sound of my name and rolling the 'r' across his tongue. It drew some unnecessary attention to his mouth; I stared at it, wondering firstly how he could vomit a paragraph of words within a couple of seconds, and secondly how he could do... _that_.

"I remember your name, too. You're N." I managed to reply. He smiled more, flinging out his arms, and I stared at them next, hoping he didn't seriously think I'd walk over and hug him. We weren't friends. My friends were my Pokemon, Bianca, Touko, and Touya, and I struggled to hug each one of them. If I had hugged Touya more, would things be different between us?

N tilted his head as if to ask a question. "You look well." He said instead. "Yes. Are you still pursuing your ideal of strength?"

"Yes."

"Still want to be the Champion, eh?"

"Of course." I'd get to fight Touya again. Maybe one day I'd be able to beat him, and I'd bring him down from his summit to join the earth with me. It wasn't entirely selfish. Bianca missed him, and Touko was fighting to beat him, too.

"Admirable. Your determination, I mean. I don't think you'd be able to achieve your goal, not for awhile - it is Touya, after all. But I would wager that since the last time I saw you, the probability of your victory is a fraction higher." I twitched. He sounded so damn nonchalant; his smile and his arms didn't falter an inch.

He was right - it _was_ Touya, talented, lofty, heroic Touya - but I didn't need to be reminded of losing. "I'm not sure if that's supposed to be a compliment or an insult."

"Mostly a compliment, a little bit of an insult." He swung his arms up and down, a childish motion at odds with his entire appearance. "Show me your Pokemon. I could change it into a full compliment if I got their opinion."

I frowned. Again with talking to Pokemon! It was one of the first things N said to me, but I never understood it. Trainers and Pokemon can understand and learn from each other, but how could N have a literal conversation with them? Well, my hand was already waiting on Liepard's Poke Ball, anyway. N didn't have a single one on him. It probably wouldn't hurt to bring him out...

I tossed it down to the ground. With a burst of red light, Liepard appeared from his Poke Ball, immediately stretching out his front paws and yawning. N looked delighted. He bent down close to him, and his voice was low and excited, as if (badly, I could still hear him) whispering a secret. "Hey, Liepard. I'm N. Can you tell me more about Cheren?"

What followed was one of the oddest exchanges I'd ever seen. After sniffing at him, Liepard meowed and mewled at N, and he nodded sagely as if he understood every not-word he was saying. It was almost like a conversation - the ridiculous sort that a child would try to have with a Pokemon. I began to wonder if N was literally younger than he looked. I already suspected he was mentally.

N straightened. "Oh, I see. You're from Nuvema Town, too." I froze. How could he... did Liepard really tell him that? No, maybe Touya or Touko had mentioned that to him at some point, and he was just remembering it.

He didn't seem to notice my reaction, waving a hand as he went on, "You've been friends with everyone - your group, you know what I mean - for a very long time. But you're keeping a secret from Touya. I don't think that's very nice. Friends aren't supposed to do that... you really should tell him the truth, whatever it is. And you should definitely tell your Pokemon. You're leaving them out of the equation, and that isn't nice either. Liepard likes you very much."

He was speaking too quickly again, but I had heard enough. He knew. Fine - he could speak to Pokemon, somehow, and my Pokemon knew me far too well. N stared at me, his lips drawn into a thin, serious line, and I could see the question in his pale eyes, probably wondering 'why' or what the 'secret' was... as if I would tell _him! _

Liepard nudged his head against my leg. I couldn't tell him. I couldn't even tell my own Pokemon, and they were friends I knew wouldn't judge me. No, I wouldn't tell anyone.

"I like Touya." N said after a stretch of silence. "And he likes you."

I tapped Liepard's Poke Ball against his head, and once he was inside, I hooked it on my belt and turned to walk away.

* * *

><p>I didn't see Touya for months. I spent most of that time training; I trained with Touko for awhile until she set her sights towards Sinnoh, and I finally saw Touya again the day she left. He'd come to say goodbye to her, and they parted with the same promise of competition that permeated most of their interactions.<p>

"Once I become Champion of the Sinnoh league, I'll come running back to beat you, little brother!"

"Yeah, right! I'll be waiting for years!"

I didn't know what to say to her myself. I just wished her well; Touko teased me for that ("Seriously, Cheren? Is that all you're gonna say? You suck at goodbyes."), and then pulled both Touya and I into a tight, choking hug before running to board the S.S. Anne.

And then we were alone.

"Bianca isn't going to be happy she didn't say goodbye to her." Touya muttered.

I shook my head. "She told Bianca before calling you, actually. She couldn't make it today; Iris is keeping her busy, apparently."

"Do I want to know the details about that?"

"Not really, no."

Touya snorted, and then he was smiling, that crooked smile I never told him how much I loved. "It's been awhile, Cheren. Want to go have a battle?"

We fought in Pinwheel Forest, where our Pokemon would have more room to breathe. Touya was as strong as ever, but my Pokemon were getting stronger, and his win didn't come as easily as it used to. I felt a fierce rush of pride at that, and seeing that old look of determination burning brightly in his eyes was exhilarating.

I lost, but I felt amazing. After we took our Pokemon to the Pokemon Center, we spent hours talking about everything and nothing, and when things were like this, it was so easy to let more half-truths slip... I missed you, I'll challenge you at the Pokemon League soon, I wish you could stay longer.

But he never read into them, and the time eventually came for him to leave. I wouldn't see Touya for another five months, when he would come flying to me on Unfezant's wings, gushing about the most amazing Trainer who challenged him... tall with a wonderful repertoire of Pokemon, most of which he had never seen before. He was probably from another region, the bastard. I immediately hated him.

Another three months went by; I was beginning to work up the courage to challenge the Pokemon League and show up this upstart Trainer that so enthralled him. I was much more powerful now. But Touya came to me first, and he was a little boy again as he shyly confessed that he and that (bastard of a) Trainer were dating.

And I smiled and told him I was happy for him.

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><p>A year passed before I saw N again. I couldn't bring myself to go to the Pokemon League. Not yet. Someday, I'd show him who was the stronger one, and I'd drag Touya off his summit and kick his lover down, screaming - maybe. Maybe I was just bitter. I couldn't bring myself to train anymore; my ambition had screeched to an angry halt, and I wouldn't let my Pokemon suffer that. For awhile, I went back to my roots in Nuvema Town, alternating each day between trying to calm down (he's <em>allowed<em> to date people, I should have listened to N) and adding fuel to the fires of my rage (I didn't say anything because it wouldn't have fucking mattered).

I didn't tell my family anything about Touya. They had taught me from the beginning what I should have done; they didn't need me telling them they were right. I was incredibly, irrationally bitter, and this was how N found me, on another hot day in the middle of summer. He waltzed right into my house and paused as he noticed me on the couch. "I thought this was Touya's house." He said, as nonchalant as ever.

"Do I look like Touya?" I snapped. He blinked.

"... No. You look like Cheren." He considered me for awhile. I didn't like the way his eyes slid up and down from my face to my feet, dangling off the edge of the couch - it felt invasive, and I glared at him before clearing my throat. His eyes snapped up to my face, startled, and then he smiled. "You look different, though."

"What do you want?"

"I just wanted to see how Touya was doing. It's been awhile. But it's okay - I wondered about you too."

"Really now."

"Yes." His smile faded, and suddenly he was all seriousness. "Did you tell him?"

I flinched. I was hoping he wouldn't remember that conversation. "No."

"Why not?"

"You don't even know what the secret is. It's not something I can just _tell_ him." I muttered irritably. He tilted his head, the same way he did a year ago. He hadn't changed at all. "Of course it is. You just don't want to. But you should."

"I CAN'T!" I hissed, hauling myself into a sitting position to properly glare at him. "I can't tell him! It wouldn't make a difference now; it's too late!"

N tensed, a hand wandering to his belt. Unlike last time, there was a single Poke Ball hanging there. "Did something happen to Touya?"

"He's fine. Pink as a Pecha Berry." He looked puzzled. I sighed, lifting a hand to massage my temples. "He's very happy, actually." As much as I hated to admit it.

"I don't understand. Why are you upset, then? He's your friend. Shouldn't you be happy he's happy?"

He sounded so unbearably simplistic, but the truth of his words hit me hard. I hated that he was right... again. "... You wouldn't understand." I said. Internally, I cringed at how sulky I sounded. N stared at me for a long while, pale eyes invasive and prodding, like I was a puzzle that he wanted to figure out. Ghetsis was wrong about his lack of a heart - but after living in isolation for so long, he was probably still figuring out the finer points of human interaction. I seriously doubted he would understand something like this.

"I'll be your friend, Cheren. Maybe then I'll understand."

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><p>From that day on, N would visit me everyday. Sometimes he arrived bearing cold sweets, like Casteliacones and sherbet and gelato, each time a different flavor. As much as I hated cold things, they became saviors in the summer. He would sit near me, always too close, and he would and talk, and talk, and talk while I pretended to listen. I didn't understand half of what he was saying most of the time, but his blathering did serve as a distraction from Touya, and slowly, I began to wonder if I was ever meant to understand in the first place, if this was what he intended all along.<p>

One day, he asked if I still wanted to be the Champion. I told him the truth: "I'm not sure anymore."

"How sad." He said. His head was hanging upside down from the couch, tea-green hair splayed on the floor while his legs hugged the back of the frame. I was sitting across from him in an armchair. "You were so sure before. I liked your ambition... I don't think it should be wasted like that. Maybe you could use it for something else."

"Hmph. Like what?"

The heels of his feet tapped against the couch. "You know a lot about Pokemon. Do you want to learn more? I don't always agree with what researchers do, but you would be a good one, I can tell. You could make a living doing that kind of thing." I supposed I could, but I had never thought about it, until then. I'd always imagined myself as a Trainer. Still, I entertained the idea for awhile. N had the uncanny ability to make silly things sound at least somewhat convincing.

Maybe because he was so animated. He spoke with his hands, face, his entire body, really; when he laughed, his whole body shook, and when he was telling a story, he would make detailed motions to try and shape everything he described, with varying degrees of success. His hands were as long and pale as the rest of him, and he looked so much more elegant than he actually was.

A month flew past us in a blur, then another. By the end of that second month, I could safely say I hadn't thought about Touya for weeks, and when I realized it, I felt both uplifted and like I'd betrayed him at the same time.

I wasn't sure when N started to occupy my thoughts more and more, but really, of course he would; he was making it a point to invade every day of my life. I didn't think much of that. It was helpful, and deep down, I appreciated it; I told him so by not kicking him out.

He really did talk too much, though. I'd watch those endlessly moving lips and wonder what it would be like to kiss them shut - and when I realized what I was thinking, it crashed upon me like thousands of angry Pidoves, squawking shrilly to berate me for being so _stupid_ - N was supposed to be helping me get over Touya, not become a replacement for him!

I couldn't love him, I _wouldn't_. I'd lose him too if I dared let myself...

"... Cheren?"

It was another one of those hot summer days, sun, sweat, and lemon sherbet sticky and uncomfortable on our fingers. I'd lost myself in N's bothersome mouth again, slick with saliva where he'd licked away a lingering bit of lemon. I dragged my eyes upwards to meet his, only to find them fixated somewhere slightly lower.

"You've got something..." He leaned over, hesitating a moment, before he brushed his thumb down from my mouth to my neck, his skin soft and much too hot. He then lifted that thumb to his cursed mouth, licking away some sherbet I hadn't realized had fallen, and whatever blundering thanks I meant to give him withered in my throat.

"You're welcome." He said, his lips twitching up into a smile. I couldn't speak. He tilted his head, stared at me for awhile, a habit of his, and I'm not sure what he found there, what secret or lie or half-truth possessed him to lean over again and swipe his tongue over my neck.

I gasped. Every nerve he had touched was ignited like fire, flickering and alive with ache. He flinched, shifting as if to move away, but instead he stayed there and rested his chin against my shoulder. It burned, too; my heart was beating so quickly I feared it would burst out of my chest. Touya had never done anything like _this_. Immediately, I tried to rationalize it: N probably hadn't meant anything by it - probably - but surely he had to know by now people just didn't _do_ that to each other...

"I don't know what I'm doing." He whispered, as if it was a secret. I felt something small, tenuous, and thin as a string finally snap between us, and with it fell my resolve and my fear: I grabbed his arms and pushed him down against the couch. N was underneath me, and he wasn't pushing me away. My mind raced with maybes and possibilities, and my mouth worked furiously to try and catch up, to articulate at least one of them, but nothing came. He stared at me, looking startled until the shock faded into a wide-eyed sort of fascination.

He smiled. "You're taller now." He had said it many weeks before, when I stood in front of him. The reminder made me feel all the more awkward, and I felt foolish and young as I drew closer to those pale gray eyes, and watched them flutter shut when I claimed his (bothersome, irritating, _beautiful_) mouth.

I'd always imagined kissing him while he was talking. He was so quiet now, nothing but breathy gasps and whispery little mewls instead of neverending words - even the dishwasher, busily churning away in the kitchen, was louder than he was. No, I wouldn't have that. I kissed him harder, each kiss a truth I'd been too afraid to say, and I touched him until he was all I could hear.

Somewhere behind us, next to the dishwasher, the lemon sherbet had melted all over the counter.


End file.
